I am sitting in the train car that will take me to my friend’s house by the sea in less than 2 hours. She invited me, with her parents, to spend a week together since school just ended.
I was 17 and a half years old, today I am one year older.
The train car was empty, I put my bag on the shelf above the seat and started to send some messages from my cell phone. Shortly before the train left the station, a distinguished and well-dressed gentleman, between 60 and 70 years old, sits down in front of me. I politely return his greeting so as not to seem rude. After a few minutes, the gentleman strikes up a conversation and starts chatting with me. At first I chat with him a bit, but at a certain point, the situation annoys me also because I am receiving messages, I would like to read them in peace and reply. So I start to answer him in monosyllables without giving him any new ideas.
I resume writing on my cell phone, absorbed in my messages, oblivious to the gentleman sitting in front of me. Sleep overcomes me, and I nod off, closing my eyes.
When I open them again, or rather, half-close them, I remain petrified, I close my eyes immediately.
The man in front of me was masturbating.
“Maybe I saw wrong!” I thought. “It can’t be true!” Hesitantly, I open my eyes just enough to see without him noticing that I’m awake. I wasn’t mistaken. I omit the details because they are still too vivid in my memory.
Panic assails me. I don’t know what to do. I have never seen a grown man’s genitals in person. I remain motionless with my eyes closed, unable to react. I try to think quickly, but the only thing I see in my mind is the man in front of me masturbating. I’m disguised, but I’m also afraid. There’s no one else in the carriage with me; I hear no voices.
Perhaps a few minutes pass, and my mind races with thoughts. Finally, before anything else can happen, I decide to get up and leave the carriage. I make some noise to signal my awakening, hoping the gentleman will compose himself.
I open my eyes and look out the window for a few seconds. When I get up and take my bag, fortunately the gentleman has placed the hat right there, to hide what he was doing, so as not to be discovered.
I have thought back to this bad experience many times and wondered what I could have done differently, how come I didn’t know how to react. I was not prepared.
I think that if I had discussed with someone how to deal with similar situations, maybe I would not have remained so passive.
The more you know about a topic, the better equipped you are to react.
My friend who lives in England told me that she had a subject called “Health” at school for 5 years, from the age of 10/11 to 16/17.
She told me that these topics are also discussed and revisited every year. Even in class, with the teacher, the students theoretically stage similar situations, embarrassing and uncomfortable moments that can happen in real life. In class they discuss the dynamics, the behaviors, the reactions, the ways to prevent them, to try not to get involved. I would like my school to teach this subject too.