My name is Marco, and I am a boy. That’s right, a boy with an inner battle with anorexia. The truth is that anorexia can affect men too, it is not just a female issue. I have been trapped under the weight of cultural expectations for too long, hiding behind a forced smile and a seemingly normal life.
It all started harmlessly. I never worried too much about my appearance, until I was hit by casual comments about my body. Some people would say I was too thin, while others would wonder If I was fit enough. And so, without realizing it, I started to stare at my reflection in the mirror scanning for flaws.
It has been a gradual process. I started limiting my food portions, justifying it as a way of eating more healthily. The truth is that what I thought was my control of my diet ended up controlling me. Each bit of weight lost would give me a sense of power and control. However, I was also losing myself.
People around me started to worry. My mother would look at me with eyes filled with worry while I would push around my food on the plate. My friends would ask me if I was ok, and I would dismiss their worry with a tense smile. I didn’t want to admit that I had a problem, that I was weak.
At the end, my strength came from acknowledging my vulnerability. It has been a long journey to recovery. I did not confront my anorexia as a weakness, but as a battle to fight with all my strength. True friendships, family and therapy have helped support me. Everyday is a struggle, but I have learned to be kind to myself and to celebrate every bit of progress instead of focusing on my moments of weakness. I have learned that true courage lies in acknowledging my fear and choosing to continue fighting despite all.
Now, I look at my reflection in the mirror with different eyes. I don’t search for flaws, but see the strength and resilience that brought me here. I am still fighting, but know I am never alone. And if my story can convince even one single person to ask for help, then this is a battle worth fighting for.