My name is Paolo, I am sixteen years old and I am an accounting student.
I was bullied for four years.
Yes, when I was in middle school, my classmates made fun of me because I was a little fat, quiet, wore glasses and braces. I was left out, almost no one invited me to parties or out for pizza. This situation made me suffer, but in the end I got used to it. They made me feel like a “loser” and I had taken refuge in studying and reading: I read everything, I devoured the books that had become my refuge, my world.
However, the bullying became much more frequent and serious in the first two years of high school. I ended up in a class that was almost all male and I was immediately targeted, a bit for my physical appearance and a bit for my shy and taciturn character.
Little by little, an infernal situation was created from which I did not know how to get out.
A group of four boys enjoyed putting me in difficulty and I suffered all sorts of harassment. Since I was good at school they “asked” me to pass them my homework, my notes, they regularly stole my snack. Once they stole a sweatshirt from me because they knew I cared a lot about it.
Outside of school, away from the eyes of the teachers it was even worse, I was often pushed around, mocked and I knew that if I had reacted it would have ended badly for me.
Once at the bus stop, going home, I was so exasperated that I defended myself verbally, they punched me and broke my glasses.
They were really mean and they enjoyed seeing me suffer and feel bad.
Today I would say that they were very unhappy since that was their only way to have fun and feel important, superior.
Back then, however, it was hell for me. I was literally terrified, I was afraid of them. I hated them but I didn’t know how to defend myself.
I told a lot of lies to my parents, to the teachers, and I took all the blame for what was happening to me because of them.
Then I got sick: I didn’t eat anymore because I had lost my appetite, I slept badly, I often had nightmares. I had panic attacks, I didn’t want to go to school anymore, it had become an anguish for me. I couldn’t study anymore and my grades had plummeted.
My parents finally realized that something serious was happening to me, although I continued to deny and make excuses for not going to school.
That year I dropped out of school and my parents took me to the psychologist. After the first resistance I let myself go and finally told everything.
A year has passed and I am finally feeling better. I changed schools and I am learning to defend myself and to react. I realized that keeping it all inside was wrong and things would never change.
Today I am on the Anti-Bullying Committee at my school.
Unfortunately, there are very few schools that have this program that raises awareness among students and teachers. During our meetings, we talk about bullying, to prevent it, to learn not to be victims and to fight it. If even one boy, a victim of bullying, trusts a person he doesn’t know, because he feels less alone, and finds the strength to tell, I have won.